Hello Dysfunction deserves far more recognition and praise than it currently receives!! Crystal and Pat are the coolest Aunties/friends you could’ve ever hoped to have! You will laugh. You will sometimes cry from laughter. Other times you will cry in solidarity with their raw emotion and vulnerability. If you use inappropriate humor as your coping mechanism- LISTEN RIGHT NOW! If you want real, raw, unapologetic opinions- LISTEN RIGHT NOW! If you want to feel like you aren’t alone in this world- you know what to do…LISTEN RIGHT NOW! They are the best in the game and I will be a lifelong listener! If you feel otherwise..be careful..not too much on my girls! Ok, love you Aunties! Bye 🖤🤍

Here’s the thing; this podcast is so unique, and original! Pat and Crystal have created this beautiful community and we aren’t jusy listeners; we’re family! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll learn; it really is more than just a podcast. The authenticity these ladies exude really sets this podcast apart from any other out there! They have helped so many people feel seen and have helped many in their healing process. Once you give them a listen, you’ll be hooked! This is not just a review. I’m just a guy that’s been impacted so much by Pat and Crystal, I consider them friends, though I’ve never technically met them. What other “podcast” does this? I promise you won’t be disappointed

I’ve been listening to this podcast for about three years now and I can’t tell how many times I’ve cried and laughed with them! They’re both so amazing! Thank you for being there for me when I’ve had my ups and down. These ladies are so much fun and smart. Love you tias ❤️

Before the year ends Id like to say that I am grateful for this pod! Ive been a long time listener and look forward to a new episode every week.. its like catching up with my bffs. I would highly recommend this podcast to my friends and others that share similar interests. <3

Only podcast I get excited about every time I see a new episode is posted ! Most relatable and straight forward pods. Plus a bonus is that they’re both super funny and they make my day every time I’m able to listen or watch. !

This podcast has been such a breath of fresh air for me as an adult. I only wish I had these women as a guide through my teenage years. I never feel alone with my struggles and get validation that I am a force every episode. I encourage anyone and everyone to listen as no subject is off limits (for the most part) and to be ready for a fun ride. Thank you tías, love y’all!

So thankful I found this incredible podcast! It is insane how comfortable and normal I feel about things I’m into(just finished ep. 9-weird sex) haha I love listening to both of you women. Your dynamic is refreshing and I feel so lucky to have so much to catch up on. The stars were aligned when I found this podcast✨✨✨✨

This is my favorite pod. So funny and so real. I love both girls for their own unique qualities lol. I’m from the same towns as them and love it when they talk about local spots and stories. I’m so happy when a new episode drops and have probably listened to every episode a couple times. What a sweet and fun friendship these two opposites have and sooo fun to listen to ♥️

I have been listening for years and they are not only amazing people but make you feel like they are sitting in the same room as you, including you in the conversation. They are funny compassionate and real!! Will forever be my one and only favorite podcast!!!!

If you’re looking for a podcast that makes you laugh while diving into the messy reality of life, Hello Dysfunction is a must-listen. Tackling everything from mental health and family dynamics to motherhood, relationships, and even politics, this show finds humor in dysfunction and the chaos of everyday life. The hosts bring a perfect blend of wit, vulnerability, and real talk, making it feel like a conversation with your funniest and most relatable friends. Whether you’re a parent juggling life’s endless demands or just someone navigating the highs and lows of being human on this planet, this podcast delivers laughs and insight in equal measure. Highly highly recommend!

I’d like to start with these two women have changed many of my perspectives. I was not expecting that at all. Their humor is just like mine, especially laughing at my own trauma and they’ve been teaching me to be comfortable in my own skin. I love love love this show, and will continue to recommend it to friends and clients!

EDIT: now that I’m a parent??? This show has carried me throughout the most transformative years for me. These two have given me the confidence to navigate motherhood in a way that’s authentic and real - beyond that, just to live my life authentically without shame. Because if this show, I took the leap to get myself medicated and when I say I can SEE the world now through the fog? It’s in honest dialogue and community we thrive as people. So thank you Pat and Crystal - the tias I never had. I’ve always loved podcasts because they’re like conversations where you’re not obligated to reply. It’s hard to find people I can relate to in the podcast industry and Hello Dysfunction really filled that space for me. People who’ve experienced real life (or what real life is to me and people who grew up the way I did) talking about life. Unfiltered and uninhibited. Personally, I’m a huge fan. Thank you!

Trashy

So relatable . Def good to hear when you had no parents around . They fill you in on things you should be aware of . Best Aunties you can ask for ! So encouraging.

I love these ladies. Pure comedy gold. They are amazing in their own unique way. I look forward to each episode. I may cry, laugh or sing with Crystal. 😂

Trashy

Hello Dysfunction has held me in a chokehold of weekly anticipation since the pandemic. This podcast is wildly unhinged in the most entertaining and comical manner. Every week, without fail, I'm guaranteed to learn something novel, feel validated, be intellectually stimulated, or experience a hearty laugh. Crystal and Pat (the hosts) possess an undeniable comedic flair as they tackle a diverse range of topics, from the politically charged to the intimately personal. Their banter is akin to unwrapping presents on Christmas morning—filled with delightful surprises, unexpected twists, and side-splitting hilarity. After a few listens, it becomes evident that Crystal and Pat are an authentic and candid duo, a rarity in the podcasting realm. Their genuine connection with listeners is the bedrock of the show's enduring appeal and it’ll keep you coming back forever! - Noelle

I’m so thankful to have found this podcast, thanks in part to my friend for posting about Hello Dysfunction on IG and thus, I came across HD! Listening to HD makes me feel like my dysfunctional family is normal and I feel less alone when I’m feeling down about my dysfunctional family members. Pata Fría & Crystal, thank you for being so open and sharing your life with us.

My favorite podcast, I turn on Hello Dysfunction literally every day at some point. Crystal and Pata Fria are seriously the best, I have been able to relate to them and go to their podcast for advice throughout so many stages of my life in the years I’ve been listening to them. They are so beautiful inside and out, and I am so grateful they continue to share their friendship/families/lives with their listeners. You feel like family listening in on their updates and stories, I love these girls and i promise you will too!!!

This is the best podcast I have ever listened to. These ladies tell the truth and are so relatable. Love the HD family.

sick as in good, of course. love this show and one i can definitely relate to! if you’re funny, you’ll like it and if you aren’t, you’ll learn from it.

Such an honest and well-intentioned podcast! I’ve been hearing for YEARS now and their morality has never shifted. Thank you for having the thickest backbone and standing with our Palestinian comrades!!! May we see their liberation within our lifetime. Also thank you for creating such a safe space.

First off I love you friendship, it reminds me of some of the conversations I have with my friends. I am a 39 year old gay man originally for the Bay Area (SAN FRANCISCO) to be exact now living in Massachusetts (because I decided to get clean off of drugs & alcohol). You guys are amazing. Just the telling of stories brings back to good old days of running a muck as a teenager & young adult in the city streets. Keep up the amazing work. I love you guys ❤️

I’ve been listening for years and I’m so grateful to have stumbled across your podcast. You ladies are the best and I’m so glad to be a part of the HD fam 🩶

My HD girls never disappoint! They are as real as it gets. I want to say I used to be a prude and frown upon women who curse or say B@&$ so much. However- now my perspective has changed, and it’s no big-e lol. Keep it coming g HD!

These ladies keep it real. Tackling the topics of life, the good and the messy. Whenever I need a little pick me up, HD is my go to. I grew up in the Bay Area, and now live out of state. When I’m missing the Bay Area these women bring a little piece of home in the form of their storytelling. Sending blessings and love from way up North.

I can’t tell you how much I love this show; crystal and pat have truly been the soundtrack to my 2023. I’ve probably listened to every episode at least twice, including patreon, and I still can’t get enough of my dysfunctional internet besties. They’re funny and relatable and real; and I hope they never stop sharing their chaotic lives with us <3

Love the podcast. I thought we weren’t supporting Gucci tho?

I have been listening for years and still can’t get enough of them! ❤️🖤

I’ve been listening from the day they’ve started and have put a lot of people on to the show. They’re two strong, consistent forces in the podcast world. Being a P@Lest!n!@n their fair coverage of what is happening is unreal and so brave. Every opinion they have had they have backed up with concrete facts as well as humanity. The first I’ve ever seen to do it on such a platform. When I say consistent I mean this isn’t just for P@Lest!n!@ns but ANY occupied or oppressed group of people. They are consistent across the board fighting for all groups suffering any forms of injustices from LGBTQ, POC, etc. They make these dark times digestible and help their listeners feel seen and loved. They’ve pulled me out of my worst times and continue to do so every week.

I’ve been listening for years and I’m FINALLY leaving a review. This is my favorite podcast hands down. I look forward to it every week. Crystal and Pat could literally talk about anything and I’d be entertained. They just have it! Give them a listen AND a review!

I look forward to the podcast every single week. Its raw, hilarious and real. I feel like I’m personally friends with Crystal & Pat because of their openness, honestly and the stories they tell. If you need a good laugh, and maybe even a cry once in a blue moon this is the podcast for you! Trust me you won’t be disappointed! This podcast is the one I wait for EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. Hands down BEST podcast on my playlist!

Been following Pata Fria for a long time listened to her other podcast so of course had to tune into this one. The chemistry between her and Crystal is amazing and so genuine. You can tell they’ve been through some things together. Life long friendships ebb and flow and it’s hilarious listening to them recount their experiences from childhood on. I always tell myself I’ll send in one of my many dysfunctional stories for them to read. I put everyone I know on the podcast and strangers too who are bold enough to ask what I’m listening to.

thank you guys so much for everything. this podcast is everything to me and many others. as a 23 year old girl navigating through life on my own, it feels so nice to have you 2 by my side through it all💗 thank you for this show

this podcast is truly a gem. thank you Crystal & Pata Fria for continuing to openly talk about your lives; the good, the bad, and the dysfunction, for this community you have built. everyone who listens is genuinely touched by these women & their show, and we all would be a little more lonely without them. we love you & you have all our support 💜

I am a new listener of Hello Dysfunction. My coworker introduced me and I’ve been hooked from the very first episode. I went back to the beginning because I want to hear where it began. You guys are so awesome, open and honest. I mostly listen on my drive to and from work and before I know it I’m at my destination. I love the laughs and also the serious content discussed.

I subscribed to HD during the pandemic after following Pata Fria for years, the chemistry between Pata Fria and Crystal is so natural and comforting and genuinely hilarious. These women talk about real problems in their lives & don’t always agree with one another BUT just hearing two friends talk through their differences, the problems they face, it’s comforting to know they can talk through anything. These ladies have given me the gift of hope & a sense of belonging through the community they grew, just by being vulnerable enough to record and share it. The community is beautiful but one thing that has made it for me is how hilarious they are together.. I can be in the worst mood and be crying laughing after 2 minutes of HD. The love is genuine, the laughter is pure and the joy they bring is unmatched. Thank you ladies for being there for so many people! I can’t wait to see y’all live! Much love- Lizz

For crystals birthday I decided the best thing I could do is leave a review. So 1) HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRYSTAL!!!!!!!! 2) back to the podcast review these ladies are truly amazing and feel like family. I’ve been listening to the pod for years, and these queens have been the big sister I never had, the best friend I lacked at my loneliest times, and the voices I hear daily to get a good laugh and great advice. GIVE THEM A LISTEN!!!!!!

I’ve been listening since the beginning and cannot recommend enough. ♥️

I’m not super into podcasts because they usually don’t really keep my interest and turn to background noise. I put this one on one day in 2020 expecting the same, but oh my god, I haven’t laughed that hard in a LONG time. I’ve since listened to every episode and replay old ones all the time. It literally feels like you’re sitting on the porch with them just dying laughing about anything and everything with your best friend. The content is so real, and these ladies are about as genuine as they come. They also talk a lot about mental health, and the struggles that come along with it that aren’t really talked about too much. Seriously, give it a try; you’ll never be bored (my fav episode is AIDS staples lol) and you’ll definitely want to join the community that they’ve built through this podcast. Seriously the best; congrats on your well deserved success and can’t wait for the next one! 🫶🏻

I heard y’all say y’all needed more reviews so this is me writing another review. Fr tho, I just wanna hear Crystal say the word “Warsh cloth” at least twice an episode. Thnx!

My absolute favorite podcast !!! it’s hard for me to find a good podcast simply based off voices and it’s easy to listen to these two all day everyday. thanks for building this community xo

Love listening to the show! I never know what to say here, but I’m so glad you guys are still going strong and I get to listen in and crack up with y’all! P.s. Thank you for talking about that new diabetes medicine that people are taking to lose weight because a lot of people don’t understand how it works so I was glad to hear on a huge platform like this 🙏

When i was a kid I was constantly lying about where my mom was, where my dad was, floating thru the bay as my mom floated thru different stros on “cowboy coffee” I felt so alone. So much dysfunction. Little me needed to know kids like Crystal & Patafria existed.. but big me is so happy to have them. This podcast is comforting, but also uncomfortable in a good way and just overall a delight. You’ll laugh, cry.. probably somehow get sick? But you’ll truly find the family you’ve always been looking for. Crystal and Patafria are not only amazing story tellers, both with huge hearts, crystal an animal lover, pat always keeping us from being game goofy. They both keep you up with current events & will always keep you on your toes! start from episode 123 if not from the beginning and you won’t regret it!!

Where would I be with out the show ? If they had a million fans I would be one of them, if they had one fan it would be me. Funny, comforting, relatable I’ve listened for years and listened to every episode at least twice. Wether I’m having a bad day or just need to stimulate my adhd hello dysfunction is always my go to. Ps , I love Pat and Crystal so much but Carolyn really has my heart.

So the first line in the description of this episode is: “Pata Fria is off her meds.” It’s as if this statement was made to plead with us to keep forgiving her incessant harmful, offensive speech. I understand in an ever-changing world, we are all far from perfect, but when you have someone that cares about you, doing their best to teach you in that moment, you don’t double down and reject it. A pejorative term is just that, and because you don’t think it’s wrong or you that group calls themselves that, it’s alright? Apply that logic to the n-word (which you’ve been called out for before). And not to mention the continuation of the r-word, as well, after having apologized for using it.

I honestly feel like I would be lost without this podcast. The realest of the real along with being hilarious & so forthcoming with their real life struggles, accomplishments & just their overall day to day grind. Idk how they do it but their conversations come so organically, it doesn’t sound forced like a lot of other podcasts. Keep thriving! We all love you guys so much

Thank you Crystal & Pata fria for always keeping it 100%. My upbringing was hella dysfunctional, so hearing you two laugh & talk about yours....is the highlight of my week! Haaaaa!! Meat Walls, I’m dying!!!

Hey girls, Pixiee here! I just wanted to write in and remind y’all to keep up this amazing show and give you a 5 star review because y’all deserve more than a million star rating! After hearing everyone write in I finally did it myself and man it does make you fan girl out when you hear your words on your favorite show! Anyways I hope y’all have an amazing week and I can’t wait for another episode! Ps. Thanks crystal for understanding my typo in my write in, yes I meant lash tech!! LOL

Updating my review! I’ve been listening to you two for years now. I was hooked instantly with your real talk and genuine companionship. Its amazing that y’all found each other and became family. I love your crazy stories 💕 keep them coming!